Inklings

Think details don’t matter anymore? Don’t tell that to Amazon, which just reported a net sales increase of 41% to $6.57 billion for 2Q2010 (which, BTW, was considered disappointing by Wall Street for some crazy reason).

One example of the attention to detail that truly sets Amazon apart — redeem a gift card, and the site asks if you’d like to send a “thank you” to the giver. It even gives you suggested text (including the line, “I love shopping at Amazon!”) that you can customize as you wish.

Kudos to Amazon for making the world a more polite place, one thank you note at a time. Moms everywhere are nodding their heads vigorously.

While flipping through the latest issue of DM News, I had to go back and check the date on the cover to make sure it wasn’t April 1.

Because the ad I was looking at had to be a joke, right?

It was a call for entries for the John Caples International Awards (one of the most prestigious in the creative community) showcasing the European division of Chrysler, a prior winner of the “Courageous Client” Award.

Imagine being in this presentation to the client. “OK, here’s the pitch — we’ll encourage consumers to have sex in the back seat of one of your cars. Great, huh? Huh?”

You see, in an attempt to reconcile the Dodge brand’s macho image with the release of its Journey family wagon in Belgium, agency Proximity BBDO came up with the “Baby Made On Board” campaign.

Yep, just what it sounds like. Test the backseat of the Dodge Journey, make a baby during the test drive, and the first to give birth wins the car.

My first thought — really? Quickly followed by, ”Eeeewwww, I’m never sitting in THAT back seat.”

Clearly I’m not the target audience, since the campaign was a huge hit. At least in award circles, anyway, as data to support sales results (beyond the birth of 72 yep-they’ll-be-in-therapy-for-life babies) seemed oddly scarce.

When a recent memo revealed that GM was instructing employees to stop using the word “Chevy” to describe its Chevrolet brand, the majority of the marketing world responded with a collective “Boo-hoo.”

Kind of like the Coke police going after Eepybird.com before embracing the whole wacky “Diet Coke & Mentos” phenomenon.

How awful when consumers are so enamored of your brand that they find fun, off-label uses for it or go out of their way to give it a lovable nickname.

Sounds like something that BP would kill for these days. Any ideas, @BPGlobalPR?

Had an unexpectedly informative conversation with a customer service rep  at Plow & Hearth yesterday. Apparently, I’d had a momentary blackout the day before when entering my AmEx for an online purchase, and received an email that they could not process my payment.

When I called to follow up, a charming gentlemen (whose name I’m now blanking on, maybe I should see a dr about this!) graciously took the correct card information, then asked if I needed the item with any particular urgency. Cynical me starts thinking that he’s looking to upsell me on exorbitant expedited shipping, but no. “Since your order was delayed a day, I can upgrade you to UPS rather than the postal service at no charge. You should have your order by the weekend rather than sometime next week. Is that OK?”

Wait…that one-day delay was my mistake and you’re not punishing me? Wow.

Just as poor service experiences hopefully inform our own customer service practices, so should the positive ones. Like Plow & Hearth, why not seize the chance to turn a customer boo-boo into an opportunity to make the relationship even stronger?

It’s so easy to say, “Hey, your mistake. We’ll fix it, but it’ll cost ya.” But in the end, the only true cost is to customer loyalty. Be someone’s pleasant surprise today and see what happens.

It’s always fun to dissect what it takes to get — and hold — people’s attention. And with the welcome return of “Last Comic Standing” to NBC last night, thought it might be worthwhile to consider what marketers might learn about audience engagement from the art of stand-up comedy.

Know your audience. Sounds obvious, but often the obvious bears repeating. What makes a joke hilarious to some and a hot-button horror to others? It’s all about context. Do your homework and get to know your target’s quirks — prior knowledge and experiences, sensibilities, and unique pain points — plus the communication method that will make them most receptive to your message.

Never underestimate the power of timing. Even stand-up newbies know that you never “step on” the laughter. Wait until your audience is done reacting to your punch line before launching into the next joke. Same goes for the timing of your marketing masterpiece. Will your CPA firm’s prospects, for example, be most receptive to a telemarketing call immediately preceding their year-end close, or when they’re in midst of audit hell and looking for a savior?

Delivery is everything. From the set-up to the punch line, there’s no finer art that the crafting of a joke. When you’re firing on all cylinders, the laughs are almost effortless. Here’s where all the components of a marketing effort have to work together seamlessly. Does your layout support your messaging in an accessible, easy-to-follow flow that drives prospects right to your response device? Or are you sacrificing ROI at the expense of good looks?

Only the fearless survive. Comedy is all about taking calculated risks. Consider it the marketing equivalent of “test, test, and test again.” Think Jerry Seinfeld ever walked out onto the Tonight Show stage with material he hadn’t honed in front of lesser audiences? Or that Sarah Silverman and Dave Chappelle don’t feel a twinge of fear before unleashing their particularly unnerving brands of comedy on an audience? Be prepared to take a few smart chances with your marketing. The result just might make you stand out from the crowd.

So, brave stand-ups, we salute you — and hopefully between the laughs can pick up a few timely tricks for becoming the “Last Marketers Standing.”

If you’re like most business owners, you’ve probably lost track of how many times you’ve uttered the phrase, “There’s just not enough time in the day.”

It’s only through experience that we develop our own unique methods for being more productive. During a recent time management workshop hosted by the Union County Economic Development Corporation, I started thinking about the habits I’ve developed in search of those elusive extra hours to get more done. Try these four communication-related productivity techniques and see if they might work for you as well:

Don’t use a phone headset at your desk simply out of habit. I love my headset — it frees up my hands to take notes during phone meetings and conference calls. But when I forget to remove it at the conclusion of a meeting and use it for even brief calls throughout the day, I find those calls last longer on average. Why? Because I’m comfortable and not juggling an annoying handset, I’m unaware of the amount of time I’m spending on non-essentials like personal calls.

Never go into a meeting without an agenda you’ve circulated in advance. Even a brief outline pays huge productivity dividends. It helps you to organize your thoughts, not catch meeting participants off guard, and avoid time-wasting misconceptions like, “Oh, I didn’t realize we needed to make a decision on X today.” When everyone — clients and staff alike — knows exactly what’s on the agenda in advance, it’s a lot tougher to make excuses or to show up unprepared.

Use an “action items” list to keep the meeting momentum going. Whenever appropriate, I follow up on the majority of meetings with a quick email recap. It includes an outline of what was discussed, agreed-upon next steps, action items assigned to particular participants, and timeframe(s) for response. Clients appreciate your going the extra mile, and it’s an easy way to ensure that everyone’s on the same page moving forward.

Check your spam folder. This may seem counterintuitive, but it’s actually a timesaver. By scanning — and then emptying — your spam folder once or twice a day, you’ll catch the vital communication that got caught in error. This way, you can avoid that frantic, “Didn’t you get my email?” client call and maintain control of your daily schedule, rather than having to put out a suddenly urgent fire.

We’re never guaranteed a smooth workday; inevitably the unexpected will rear its head. But by taking a proactive approach to identifying opportunities for more productive communication, one day you may find yourself looking at the clock and realizing that you’ve accomplished everything you’d hoped, with time to spare!

Interesting story from this morning’s Lempert Report on the use of more realistic-looking size 14 mannequins by Debenhams, a British department store.

Supermarket guru Phil Lempert “wonders when this size inflation will end.” With Type 2 diabetes on a rampage, is it sending the wrong message? Will a smaller mannequin shame a customer into realizing the error of her ways?

Here’s a question: Are ya nuts?

If the size zero fashion industry hasn’t sent me straight to the gym, do you really think a more realistic mannequin is going to do just the opposite — give me tacit permission to park my oversized butt on the sofa with the supersized bag of Fritos?

As David Ogilvy said more than 40 years ago, “The consumer is not a moron. She is your wife.” And while she might make sartorial decisions based on what’s in a store window, she sure doesn’t make health decisions that way.

Speaking as a plus-size shopper, nothing makes me crazier than seeing Lane Bryant-sized clothing strategically pinned to the store’s size 10 mannequins in a desperate attempt to make them fit. Kudos to Debenhams for knowing its audience — and helping women feel more comfortable in their stores and more confident in their clothing purchases, regardless of their size. Because as everyone knows…the better you look, the better you feel. And that’s the real motivator to improved health.

My long-suffering Garden State brethren and I have all suffered the countless Jersey jokes. “What exit?” “What’s that smell?” And my personal favorite: “What’s up with the giant carpet guy in the opening credits of The Sopranos?”

The latest humiliation is MTV’s Jersey Shore, a reality show in which people who are not even from here bring to life the remarkable stereotypes that drove Al Qaeda to put a price on all our heads.

But marketing lessons abound in even the most unexpected places. To wit:

Never discount the power of branding. Think as many people would be intrigued — or horrified — by characters named Bob and Sue? Throw in memorable monikers like Snookie and The Situation and you’ll get people talking.

No PR is bad PR. Obviously, this one depends on what you’re selling — and Toyota would probably disagree with you right now. But if you’re prepared to engender controversy, embrace it like a punch in the face.

Have your next act queued up. If you’re out there to polarize, recognize that your window of opportunity will most likely be short-lived. Be prepared to max out the momentum by having your next steps — whether a new product or a new controversy for the existing one — ready to roll when your 15 minutes are finally up.

Until then, fingers crossed that PR dream date Tiger Woods resurfaces soon to knock these clowns out of the headlines.

…but nobody hears it, do you still make it the centerpiece of your expensive new ad campaign?

Interesting approach from Dominos in what’s being called its “confessional campaign.” In a nutshell, they claim to be responding head-on to customer complaints about taste — posting the worst comments in their test kitchens, reformulating recipes to address them, and turning the whole thing into an ad blitz.

Brave? Maybe. Foolish? Absolutely.

If you’re not a Dominos fan, will this turn you into one? Probably not. You’re more likely to feel vindicated, exclaiming proudly, “Dude! That’s what I’ve been saying all along!!”

And if you do happen to be a Dominos fan, this will either:

A) Piss you off, because you happen to enjoy their unique ketchup/cardboard taste sensation.

B) Make you feel like a jerk for being their customer.

C) Encourage you to support the local pizzeria come tournament time (which frankly you should have been doing all along anyway).

Not exactly the ideal way to gain traction and  increase customer loyalty. What’s next…return of the Noid?